he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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