so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Randomize
