Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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