WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
