dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
