If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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