He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
