Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
