i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
