help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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