K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
