the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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