She announced her abortion via fbk
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
