What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
