I smell stomach acid.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
