Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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