Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
