just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
