Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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