Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
