Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
