Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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