I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
