There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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