How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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