The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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