you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
