R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
