hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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