found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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