It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
