My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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