Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
