you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
