is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
