Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
