You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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