Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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