now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We got so high we made milksteak
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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