So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
