I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
