Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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