Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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