your parents love me but you hate me
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize
