eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
