u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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