I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
