pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
