I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
