I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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